door in the wall

Greetings,

Knowing the buried uranium at Hanford Unclear Facility will exist for 24,000 years causes great relief. Especially for citizens along and down the Columbia River.

North Korea, Burma and Iran have expressed geopolitical interest in purchasing spent fuel for their nuclear development programs.

This is good. Sharing is caring. Engineers from the three countries negotiated with the Department of Energy to inspect, buy and ship vast quantities of Uranium, Plutonium, Hyponitrite, and it's all right ma to their respective countries for processing. 

DOE is pleased with the deal. They have realized a huge profit and managed to get finally rid of the highly toxic waste. In Theory.

To entice the buyers they sweetened the deal by including the following:

• British Petroleum oil and gas development in the Gulf of Mexico
• Wild tribal mountain zones of Northwest Afghanistan
• 16,000 endangered animal pelts, bones, and useful aphrodisiacs 
• A free mobile telephone powered by U-235 with unlimited GPS capability
• 10 Russian sleeper agents and one resourceful money man using a fake Canadian passport
• One bag of high grade Cambodian rice and a barefoot woman to carry it on her back
• A one year Tibetan meditation membership at Sera Monastery outside Lhasa with singing bells
• A toxic river in China complete with slave labor factories and 1,000,000,000 peasants
• Unlimited access to free medicine, diamonds, and utopian and dystopian literary gems
• Unlimited access to high tech weapons of mass distractions
• Free cable, lock and a key to a door in the wall 
• A mask looking for a character with universal implications

Iran expressed interest in purchasing the entire state of Washington. Burma and North Korea thought this was egregious and outside the rules of a fair trade agreement. Iran said ok, maybe later. After we stone every woman for adultery because we live in the Dark Ages.

All parties shook hands boasting the event. They promised to play fair and look both ways before crossing the street carrying bright orange umbrellas while begging for food with compassion in silence.

They paid in cash. No refunds.

Metta.