Bag It Dad

Greetings,

In a startling revelation today, European military commanders notified every single media corporation on the planet that they would begin giving out free discount coupons for a new “Peaceful Transition” store currently under construction in Baghdad.

“The 20 million acre complex, tentatively named The Mother of All Shopping Experiences is north by northwest of the capital,” said Abdula Assist, planning manager.

Our sources indicate that retail and discount experts from major world companies, under the cover of darkness, have arrived with contracts, blueprints and cheap life insurance policies to establish the business. It will be the first of many joint ventures.

“We have the full cooperation of major band aid agencies who believe that this shopping experience will dramatically affect and change the behavior and attitudes of the public,” said Buymore Today, a spokesperson.

Buymore added that, as an initial promotion, anti-depressant medication cost will be slashed by 99%.

In the interest of public safety, all potential shoppers will be required to line up for hours with bi-lingual dictionaries and Hope. Hope, a distant relative of Alexander The Great, expressed satisfaction with the planned development.

“I’ve heard Aisle 13 is going to be like an amusement park,” she said through an interpreter. “I can’t wait to see all the goodies produced in sweat shops that nobody wants or can afford.”

Peace.