Whine Me

Greetings,

The 1st Provincial Whiner Convention got under way today, hey say children, "Can you whine with the best of them?"

"Yeah man, I started whining when I found out, being an only child in a one-child takes all crap game, that whining is a fantastic way to get things you want," said Faceless. "I wanted a lot then and I want more now."

"That's nothing," said Insecure, another whining contestant. "Whining is a fine art in my book. I've never read it because I'm lazy but I know how to whine with feeling. I've had practice. I practiced on my parents, practiced on my grandparents and now I practice on my friends. A little whine here and there works wonders. You ain't never get any good at whining in life without practice."

A whine went up from the crowd.

"We want a REAL whiner. These are fakes. They have no skill, ability, creativity or enthusiasm for whining. Send them back to Whiner Elementary. They are whining failures. Poor."

"Ok, ok," said Maladjusted, a whiner with a degree in Manipulation.

"How's this?" and they started yelling and screaming, contorting their face into tears, stamping their feet demanding instant gratification.

"Give it to me now! 
"Give it to me now! 
"Give it to me now!
"I will whine until you give it to me!"
"I am a spoiled brat and I demand you to give it to me NOW!

The crowd gratefully swallowed the passive-aggressive whining performance.

"Not bad," one whiner said to another whiner. 
They voted with their feet to Whiner Street to practice whining in public.

Street Eats

a shift

Elf asked Orphan. Can you tell me in 25 words or less about your brief time in eastern Anatollia?

I can try. I open my head, heart and mouth. Do they count in the 25?

It's ok. 

Their hospitality is sublime.

Below the surface they love guns and passive-aggressive attitudes. Adolescent macho males in black cradle submachine guns. 

You see worried sullen faces. Depression is served cold with anxiety.

We are worried about money, said one citizen. We have BIG shiny watches, fancy clothes, meat and no sex. We live in fear and ignorance. 

Cultures in which food is scarce, people have more open sex, but dream of food. Whereas cultures in which food is abundant, sex is more taboo, and people yet dream of sex.

You exceeded your word limit, said Elf. Cut the shit. Start walking.