14 ministries

Greetings,

I work in the Chinese Propaganda Department. There are 14 ministries in the department.
Before the internet there was only one ministry, The Ministry of Truth. 

We, the drudges, have ministries all over the place and it's a huge financial and time consuming operation. Growth causes all of us, and I'm talking about millions, stress, anxiety and proverbial FEAR. 

I am authorized by Sir George Orwell to tell you about four ministries.

George is a good guy. He doesn't accept bribes, cash donations, cars, floral arrangements, luxury apartments on Hainan island with free golf membership and clean educational opportunities for his children at the finest schools money can buy so they will prosper and behave themselves in a harmonious society. 

It comes down to controlling information. Ignorance is strength. We've made some mistakes but we're improving our quality control.

The Ministry of Filters, for example, purifies and validates search engines, links and tags to verify their adherence to the Party line. The Party line is a secure communication system in a Mongolian yurt. It is covered with a thin veneer of high grade ultrasonic vibration-free saran wrap. This prevents exposure to Echelon communication satellite interception. Echelon is a big vacuum cleaner in the sky.

The Ministry of Soup controls emergency eye scans of all Chinese people to determine their thoughts. Thoughts are precious and the Chinese people only have a few centimeters. Thought control is part of our culture.

The Ministry of Culture and Currency is vast. Their responsibility is to provide and maintain a network of fake useless paper currency to create the illusion of value. The currency is embedded with sensors to monitor any and all verbal and non-verbal communication before, during and after any and all exchanges. It is very effective. 

A strong and important subdivision is The Ministry of Advertising. You can easily imagine how pervasive this subtle, subliminal and esoteric form of control is. It creates false needs, wants and desires among the sheep convincing them through thought control how insignificant and meaningless their worthless life is without more consumption behavior.

The ministry develops, maintains and reinforces, especially focusing on the poor lower classes how their lives will be enriched beyond belief if they struggle to raise their expectations. It's a circle game.

They used to walk. Then they wanted a Flying Pigeon bike. Then they wanted a radio. Then they wanted a refrigerator. Then they wanted a washing machine. Then they wanted  a 46-inch plasma television with remote control. Then they wanted a car, house, vacation, free medical care, cheap food, books and incense to worship the dead.

The ministry controls all the people by a large remote device. This device is embedded into every Chinese citizen's cerebral cortex at birth. It is very effective. 

Big Brother is watching. Thank you for your attention.

Metta.

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