September 1, 2001

I boarded a small plane from Richland to Seattle and sat next to a fat couple. We flew over the Cascades.

“Hi,” they said.

“Hi. Where are you going?” I said.

The man said, “Oh we’re going to Atlanta and then...” his heavy, bejeweled wife interrupted, flashing lidded eyes above pancake makeup and perfect teeth, “and this seating is just terrible. I mean, look at the space on this poor thing. There’s absolutely no room to move. When we get to Atlanta we’re flying first class to London.”

Her white pearl ring would’ve fed half of Bangladesh.

“We own a travel agency in Bend Over,” he continued. “We’re on our way to meet friends in London and then we’re going to sail down the Danube River, drink wine and have the time of our lives. Yes indeed. We’re going first class all the way.”

“Sounds like a relaxing vacation.”

“That’s only the beginning,” he said.

“Say more.”

“After Europe we’re going to an antiterrorist convention in Cuba and then,” his spouse interjected again…spitting her words into an overbooked air tight tin can where syllables floated with half baked ideas meeting angry frustrated voices complaining about time, weather, seat selection, lack of dietary choices, cramped cattle conditions and the high price one paid to be human…

... she shut up and her husband sighed, “then we’re going to China for a tour. We’re going to hit all the sights in ten days: Bee Jing, Shanghai, Xian, see Terracotta warriors trapped in dirt, walk the Great Wall, swim in the Gangster River and prowl open air markets filled with exotic animals like lions, tigers and bears oh my, dying of loneliness and neglect in cages, yes sir ree and you buy them and they’ll cook it right up in front of you. We’ll drink cobra blood. It’s a sexual aphrodisiac.” He rubbed his crotch.

His wife blew more smoke. “Isn’t freedom, democracy and free trade with open markets wonderful? Isn’t it a shame these planes are so small. You’d think the FAA would require carriers to operate planes with more legroom. They treat us like pigs. Some pigs are more equal than others, by George oh well.

"And, if that wasn’t enough, those smelly immigrant security wage slaves made me remove my shoes and underwear before I passed through detectors. I hardly understood a word they muttered and stuttered. Can you imagine? I need another drink and I need it bad.”

“Yes, dear,” said hubby patting her pasty fingers, “this country is going to hell faster than you can say Osama who’s your mama.”

She inhaled a double gin and tonic. “You be careful whom you talk to now dear,” she whispered. “You never know when someone might be listening. There may be bugs planted on this plane. I need another drink.”

“You worry too much,” he said. “It’s been disinfected.” He got her a double G&T.

“It’s a wonderful life,” I said. A couple of fat happy complacent mediocre Yankee doodle dandies.

“What do you do?” said hubby.

“I work for Death Deferred Ink as a mercenary ghost. I freelance as a wordsmith gravedigger designing mysterious plot projects. Busy 24/7. I’m taking a break from my heavy, deep, real responsibilities. Headed to Marrakesh to meet a friend at a Storyteller’s Convention. She’s a blind nomadic weaver in exile from exile. She lives in a cave with cannibals outside Rhonda in Andalucía. When someone passes on we strip the flesh off bones for writing parchment. We grind the bones into sex medicine dust. We sell left over human organs and upright pianos in China. It’s an expanding market with tonal variations on a theme. Diversity and flexibility is key. Always be closing.”

This revelation took care of their first class attitude.

ART - Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A memoir

Transformation

Late one afternoon I helped Omar climb hundreds of stone steps to reach the entrance of Cueva De La Pileta (Cave of the Pool) south of Benaojan near Rhonda. We bowed through a small entrance arch to enter a small cave.

John, the grandson of Jose Bullon who discovered Pileta in 1905 after seeing bats flying from the mountain handed me a hissing yellow gas lamp.

In his mid 30’s, slender with dark hair and eyes, multi-lingual and friendly, John was the last member of his family guiding visitors.

“My brothers moved to Madrid, my sister to Seville and I live with my mother down in the valley.”

His grandfather, needing bat guano to fertilize tobacco fields, dug around the mountain entrance called the abyss of the bats. He roped in and descended. He discovered human remains and numerous red and black Paleolithic paintings.

In 1911 Colonel Willoughby Verner, a British author and ornithologist entered the cave. He published his discovery describing the cave and paintings in the London based Saturday Review.

Henri Breuil, a French archaeologist, anthropologist, ethnologist and geologist joined him for two months to study and draw the cave paintings.

Breuil interpreted the paintings as hunting magic to increase the abundance of prey.

It’s exhilarating and surreal to be here now.

I held Omar’s hand as we entered a gigantic cavern. We slowed on wet slippery passages.

We shifted from external modern civilization into ancient internal worlds. It was a massive dark mysterious space.

The labyrinth of caves extended deep inside the mountain. The path followed slippery rough stone stairs and muddy rocky floors. One huge chamber led to another.

Forests of calcium stalactites and stalagmites loomed in light. John paused near columns of living art formed by dripping water. Natural art creates art.

“Here, listen to this,” he said, cupping his hands and tapping on a carbonated lime spike, 2-3 feet in circumference, rising from the floor into darkness.

Heavy thudding echoes reverberated. My hands played 30,000-year-old intonations. Be the drum. The cave was a magnificent chamber of natural sound echoing through deep dark space.

Lanterns played yellow light/shadows everywhere. Each step returned us to a primal condition.

There is no I, self or ego.

I am a primitive essence.

I have no identity. No past. No future.

I am pure consciousness.

Every cell is alive and firing.

My body vibrates.

I am complete and empty where light and dark meet.

Singularity. Pure sensation.

I am stone and water.

Three humans in flickering light are small.

I burn in an ancient space where knowing and unknowing meet. Wisdom meets wisdom.

Awareness is all.

I am a wild still present.

We explored deeper chambers. John pointed to a rough beige wall. Our golden lights illuminated horses, deer and a fish inside a seal.

Rough, broken black comb-like marks slashed stonewalls. There were fish traps and bison. An archer with a bow and arrow stood silent. The hunter. Prey.

They were stone stories by hunter-gatherers, clans, tribes and families before chiefdoms and city-states, empires and countries.

Stories said I was here. I am.

“They sealed some images using animal fat. If you look close you can see their fingerprints on the pictures,” said John.

Human whorls edged where a finger pressed fat on stone. Magic images danced in the light. I was in a reality/dream of beauty and mystery beyond space and time.

The power and magic is art here now.

Grounded.

Immediate.

Direct experience.

I focused on minute black lines. The outline of a horse had thick black lines on her belly. She looked pregnant. Paired red slashes, perhaps signifying blood, marked her flanks.

Deeper in caves were sixteen more black comb-like drawings. 

“They may represent the passage of time or a number,” said John. Heavy vertical black lines had smaller descending lines slanting and curving at right angles.

In 1911 a group of scientists hypothesized the paintings dated 25,000 years to the Middle Paleolithic. This was confirmed by carbon 14-dating in 1985.

“We know there are human remains below us,” said John, pointing at a dark diversion. “The remains down there are off limits. We don’t know who they are yet. Only trained archeologists from the university are allowed down there with special climbing equipment. They visit twice a year for research.”

 “May I see?” 

“Of course, just be careful near the edge.”

If you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up too much space.

I felt my way over slippery stones and peered down. My lantern was too weak to penetrate infinity. Two rusty supports extended down. It was pitch black, cold, deep.

Dripping water in the caverns formed clear pools. The calcium rich liquid was cold and refreshing. We drank deep.

“It’s delicious,” said Omar.

Ripples from falling drops formed perfect circles on a surface. A single echo pinged infinite space. Plop. Plop. Plop.

Squadrons of bats zoomed over us. They lived in places we would not enter. Invisible wing music diminished toward twilight exits.

I felt the ancient connection with people dancing around fires, playing music, creating art, exploring language, cognitive ability and symbolic thought.

Where shamans retreated deep into caves, entered a trance state and painted images of their vision to draw power from the cave walls.

Where hunter-gatherers lived and died, laughed, cried, painted dream/reality images and told creation stories. Stories of people shared stories in Old Mountain’s story-truth.

We retraced our steps. Below night sky were black rugged mountains and billions of burning stars.

Down in a narrow valley lights glowed in windows.

I was now new and raw with pure senses.

From the cave womb I was reborn with clarity and peaceful mindfulness.

Transformed I danced forever.

 *

“Thinking neither good nor evil, what was your original nature before your parents were born?” - Zen master

ART - Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A Memoir

Cadiz Barber

An old barbershop thrived near Plaza de San Juan de Dios, the neoclassical town hall from 1800.

It had cracked blue-white tiled walls and a yellow-blue mosaic inlaid floor. A well-dressed retired man sat outside smoking a cigar in a shaft of light.

We exchanged pleasantries. “Buenos Dias.”

An old barber in a stained white smock smiled. “Buenos Dias. What’ll it be Senor?”

I pulled a worn bilingual phrase book from a back pocket and thumbed to page 131. A trim please - showing a phrase gesturing over and down my long white beard painting a little.

Living in the Land of Gestures, Smiles and Body Language I spoke every tongue on Earth using fingers and hands. People attached meaning to gestures, facial expressions and guttural tone. Gestures were an international passport. They expressed truth-value meaning to communicate ideas, beauty and mystery. Gestures were sleight-of-hand performances. They sealed deals using people.

The dialect of hands expressed everything.

As a flying finger expert meeting tolerant people I expressed gratitude with real and imaginary sign words. A familiar forcestero, they trusted me in a vague clear way.

The barber looked at the book. He studied quick hands.

“Yes, fine, I understand what you want. Here,” gesturing to a chair, “sit here.”

I tabled my Moleskine journal, camera and glasses, faded filthy S.F. Giants baseball hat, received the cloth and closed eyes.

As the barber prepared tools I contemplated how Cadiz citizens loved balmy weather. People moved in and out of small flats like actors and directors on a set. Natives framed long telephoto shots to establish the big picture. They focused a spotlight lens tight on details and emotional truth in a long story.

See through soft eyes.

Their DNA spilled oral discourse wandering Earth looking for sanctuary. For centuries their ancestors intermarried with Berbers. Now 18% were practicing Catholics compared with 98% fifty years ago. Guilt, sin and liberation from repression ate ethics with cognitive dissonance. C’ la vie.

Scissors and comb danced in the barber’s hands. A finger tilted my head left then right.

A walking stick on tiles shattered sound. Acquaintances paid their respects to Omar. Language music floated.

Omar greeted an old friend. “Ola, we meet again,”

“Welcome back, my friend. You have been away a long time.”

“Yes, forever and a day. We were in the Sahara before, on and after 9/11,” said Omar, pointing to the man being trimmed. “Economic terrorism and fear of poverty is a hell of a never ending story.”

“True,” said his friend, “such devastation, suffering and retribution by angry, scared, poor people. Speaking of Sahara, how goes it...I know it like the back of my old veined hand. Trade caravans are moving north this time of year, carpets, silk, and spices are selling well yes?”

“Yes. Trading is good. You are fortunate my friend,” said Omar.

“Yes. I’ve been blessed with good health.”

“And your family? How are they?” said Omar.

“They are well, thanks be to God. Allah be praised. The most beneficent is shining their love on us. Have you heard from 9/11 survivors?”

“Word travels slower than a camel passing through a needle’s eye,” said Omar. “Tribes formed after nine eleven. Many migrated toward mountains and subterranean caves. Others resumed journeys along the Silk Road toward Constantinople and the Mediterranean.”

“How did they survive?”

“They created safe havens and new artistic opportunities. Eco tourists seeking simplicity, sanctuary and serenity from global tragedies and personal heartbreak supported spiritual retreats to practice meditation and compassion with healers, poets and prophets.”

“Love and the art of living reveals clear truths,” said his friend.

A woman in luminous red fabric floated through their conversation.

“The forcestero and I journey today. We have exploring, gathering and revising to do. He is my amanuensis.”

“Ah, you are fortunate having a well versed scribe. It is a long walk. Such is the life.”

“And your family?” said Omar.

“Allah and God be praised, they are in good health. Fatima Zamora is two-years old now. Learning to walk.”

“Walking is the preferred form of travel to make the road.”

“Have you learned anything useful from the barbarians?” said his friend.

“Very little. They know many words but have forgotten the essential music. In the 12th century Arabic and European languages created new forms based on 1,001 stories. They used imaginative prose, telling stories inside someone else’s story,” said Omar.

“Ah, you mean somebody in a story is telling a story about somebody telling a story about somebody?”

“Absolutely, my friend, like time’s labyrinth with a complete center. Seeing itself from the outside.”

“Fascinating. It appears you know 1,001 Nights?”

“Yes,” said Omar. “We discovered through this literary effort how people reflect art, culture, history, and myth through stories.”

“I’ve heard of this,” said his friend. “How tribes moved from India across Persia into Arabia and beyond. You are a manifestation of Naghali the storyteller meaning the transmitter.”

“Aren’t we all?” said Omar. “Your story is being retold in Arabic with 1,001 permutations.”

“Yes, from Arabic to a Latin form of learning. Scholars say the four languages with the longest tradition are Arabic, Sanskrit, Chinese and English. English is the language of the barbarians.”

“Ah, so it is,” said Omar. “Some are gentle and kind. Others behave like spoiled ill-tempered children. Rather crass and despondent types, prone to violence and whining at high decibels with abysmal ignorance. The Chinese stayed home, the English colonized and enslaved people in distant lands. Sanskrit, the most beautiful of all languages for its precise beauty evolved from India. Our Berber-Arabic tongue has been well received.”

“Magicians, shamans, Griots and storytellers have much to learn and share with you.”

“They are descendants of the Jinn,” said Omar.

“We celebrate cultures, shamans and spirit guides.”

“I am a Sha’ir, a feared and respected poet musician in my tribe,” said Omar. “Here’s a verse for you.”

Earth reflects sky

Landscape migrates

Listening wind sings spirit of Raoul

The Drummer of Death

Touareg the Blue Men of the desert

“Beautiful.”

“Poetry began as song,” said Omar. “Music and drama were grief songs for the dead.”

“Your unconscious is a deep river. Art reveals an interconnected universe. Interdependence. Sensations trigger electrical impulses, heartbeats and speech. Poem speaks.”

“My bearded friend here is Li Bai, a Shi sheng, an exiled Chinese poet sage,” said Omar. “He creates San wen, an intersection between prose and poems.”

“I am pleased for you. I wish you, your family and your companion all peace and prosperity.”

“Safe travels. Ensha’llah.” Their hands touched their hearts.

The barber handed me a Neolithic black obsidian mirror from Anatolia created in 6200 BC. My face was invisible.

“Objects in the mirror may appear closer than they are,” said Omar.

I felt lighter. “It’s fine, a good length. Gracias.”

He trimmed eyebrows, brushed off dead cells, removed the sheet, smiled and accepted Euros.

“Gracias. Adios,” I said to the barber.

“Gracias, adios Senor,” said Seville.

ART - A memoir - Adventure, Risk, Transformation

Author Page

Visions

I am an atom in the universe that has access to infinite possibilities of development.

These possibilities I want, gradually to reveal. 

- Hilma af Klint

Empathy

Gratitude

Humility

Courage

Omar's Reply

“I’m not surprised they passed on it,” said Omar. “Anticipating their response I just finished a retort. Would you care to give it a read?”

“Sure.”

Dear Literary Agent, (insert name here)

Many thanks for your letter in response to my submission. As a matter of fact I have 60,000 specific succinct precise concise words floating around my small cabin here in a Zen bamboo forest. I will seduce them onto blank 20/lb. bond white sheets. Their text will be an artistic marvel of design.

I will wave my magic word wand over said words to rearrange them in a simple easy to follow linear form aligning nouns, verbs and direct objects with clear syntactical structure and so forth.

I love ironing. I share this passion with Haruki Murakami.

I will iron sheets of words with discipline, passion and persistence.

My egotistical profit driven anal editors will cull all unnecessary adjectives, adverbs and useless verbiage from the manuscript. An expert at practicing, I will write short fast and deadly.

My well-honed Berber knife and laughter’s Labrys axe will kill darlings with panache.

Deleted suspects will be stripped, blindfolded, water boarded and deprived of due process as part of my polishing action under the International Geneva Font Scribe Protection Act as described in The Book of Kells, Illuminated.

Subversives deemed unfit, dispensable, extraneous, and gratuitous for literary service will be executed by Executive Order #Zero123 with no emotional attachment. Next of kin will be notified in Braille. Fatalities will be a footnote in history where the sound of speech has no alphabet.

The epic will have the intellectual density of an essay, lyric cohesion of poetry and a structure resembling a documentary film incorporating cross-referenced evidence.

To write and to draw is the same Greek verb.

When Mr. Butcher and Mr. Barber, my insolvent intrepid illiterate editors finish cutting I’ll get back to you with a revised manuscript. A.S.A.P.

No publisher is going to drink champagne from my skull.

Sincerely yours, Omar the Blind

“I love it Omar. You’re the man with passion and wisdom.”

“Just doing my work. Few have read it. Fewer have understood it. Post it please?”

“With pleasure. See you later.”

“I’ll see you when I see you,” said Omar whirling his kaleidoscopic protean prism pen.

“Excellent. I imagine Rose, Faith and Tran will be joining us,” I said.

“Yes. They’re walking to Benaojan caves.”

“Delightful. Walking makes the road. We can share stories. I heard from Little Wing this morning.”

“Great. How is she?” said Omar.

“Excellent. She’s weaving threads in Grazalema.”

“Lovely. I look forward to seeing her new creation.”

“Let’s hope she didn’t destroy everything and begin again near the beginning,” I said.

“She realizes life’s tapestry contains flaws, missed stitches and rough edges. We’ll see her clear intentions,” said Omar.

“We will. Her weaving contains frayed edges and severed threads. Like our stories.”

“Yes,” said Omar. “Seeing the front gives one a feeling of totality with holistic harmony and perfection. An organic pattern appears from random elements like a lotus growing from mud.”

“See the beauty and cruelty without hope or fear.”

“No memory means no guilt, no guilt means no fear,” said Omar.

“It’s the Middle Way with detachment and discernment.”

“You sleep with the tiger,” said Omar.

“It’s process with passion. We act and let go. Adios amigo.”

“Adios.”

ART - Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A Memoir

Author Page

Mandalay, Burma