Natural selection

Greetings,

Welcome to another episode of "Variations of The Species."

Today's panel of exotic mutating organisms are:

A cockroach.
A used-car salesman.
A soldier.
An orphaned child.
A dead hero.
A genetically altered and transformed replicant of your DNA. (thanks to Crick and Watson, elementary. Some can and some Kant)
A Komodo dragon.
A linguistic gardener.

The panel has agreed, in theory, to abstain from personal slander, libelous defamatory remarks and farting.

As profound and lost brilliant scientists have conclusively proved, gas released by farting, which has been occurring with regularity since the beginning of time, leads to the demise, downfall, upfall, where-with-all, you know it all and general disintegration of complete animal, plant and mineral planetary populations.

Therefore, in conclusion, we caution our panel of organisms to abstain from eating raw vegetables, processed foods, and imbibing fizzy liquids while maintaining a high regime of naturally rich daily organic nutrients.

Peace.