3 hots and a cot

In a new spin cycle on their Iraq washing machine, leaders of the ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ world announced today that the V.P. of OZ miss spoke when his training bike wheels fell off by saying there was a direct link on DNA stem cells between Saddam and Osama.

Contrary to polls and consumer satisfaction stupidity, many obese, TV addicted manic depressives still believe that Saddam, awaiting war crime trials and presumed to be preparing his trick or treat insanity plea was directly responsible for 9/11.

“This is a perplexing development,” said I Am Ignorant, a social scientist with a PHD working at a gas station near Baghdad. “The administration did a great job of creating fear and paranoia to justify their arrogance and blood thirsty heavy handed attitude,” while pumping Supreme.

“All you need is love,” relied Ismael Bowl, an immigrant from Basra disguised as a weapon of mass distraction.

“Look, my isotopes and depleted uranium D214 created a glowing report. I’m trying to feed half the world here,” adding, “and 28% of the homeless in America are veterans.”

A wild looking scared national guardsman from Kansas with a bad smell in his pants fired a warning shot into a sand dune narrowly missing a camel in heat. “Hey, life is good here,” he said. “I get three hot meals a day, a cot, internet access, and there’s no tax on expresso. There’s no way I’m going to end up unemployed with the killing skills I’ve learned.”

His wife recently divorced him.

“Yeah, it’s too bad,” he said. “She really never understood my undying love and passion for fun, travel and adventure. FTA. It’s a good thing she split because you know I’m going to have a lot of repressed anger to release when I get out this hell hole.”

Not to be outdone, undone or left standing alone, forelorn and lonely, a negotiating team from The Committee On UN-War Activities, (COUNA) a coalition of the unwilling, doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful, distributed free boxes of disposable body bags.

“It’s a good deal,” said an anonymous source. "They come in basic black, don’t take up much space and one size fits all.”