Mobile Ear Cleaner

Greetings,

In an amazing and toadily tech no oil logical brake threw a Chinese engineer operating at an undisclosed location for security reasons announced today he has invented the first mobile phone which, according to unspecified sources, cleans your ears during conversations.

A crack team of snoops tracked down the illusive scientist and filed this report after it was censored by nomadic sheep in Mongolia.

Mr. Lucid Lost, operating under the code name, "EarPhone" released the first verifiable circular data on his new invention.

"It works like this!" he yelled. "It works like this!"

"Wiley you is yelling into the small microphone, the high decibel level of your obnoxious voice activates a minute sharp spoon cylinder which unfolds from the phone and gently eases it's way into your ear channel canal.

"The louder you yell the deeper it goes until, WHA LA! your ear is rotated sideways into auditory realms of blind stupidity rendering your vocal chords insolvent, with starling effects. It's a clean machine and abuses batteries."

Sources indicate Phoneetechy, a hybride European communications company will consume the public on April 1 knowing that 600 million raving consumer maniacs will be holding their collective breath.

Peace.