Grandmother Detection Program

In a whoosh of speculation, NASA announced today that Mrs. Glinda Goodwitch would be stepping down as quality control librarian to head up the recently formed “Grandmother Early Detection Program.”

The “GEDP” as it is called in security circles was formed in conjunction with airline passenger complaints that grandmothers were receiving undue harassment at airline checkpoints in Bogota, Columbia.

According to our sources in the South American city, grandmothers walked out of talks yesterday designed to improve screening and flossing procedures.

“The officials are really out to lunch on this one,” Mrs. Goodwitch said through a two way mirror near a choke point as she prepared to unwrap a wax memorial of Simon Bolivar who killed many indigenous people and conquered many countries on horseback.

“Grandmothers around the world are up in arms as they see their rights eroded under the guise of deception and short meetings,” she said as ambulances screamed through a local movie theater.

As she spoke, airline officials from Easter island were gathering to discuss the Grandmother Early Detection Program.

“At this point in time, which is a point along a line, a line which, I might add, started way back there,” an official said, pointing off into space where he stood with Mrs. Goodwitch, “good grandmothers are hard to come by, and statistics indicate they are rapidly approaching extinction in some parts of the world so we are doing our best to detect them early.”

“We shall see about that,” Glinda said.