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Entries in zen (80)

Monday
Aug232021

Transformation

Late one afternoon I helped Omar climb hundreds of stone steps to reach the entrance of Cueva De La Pileta (Cave of the Pool) south of Benaojan near Rhonda. We bowed through a small entrance arch to enter a small cave.

John, the grandson of Jose Bullon who discovered Pileta in 1905 after seeing bats flying from the mountain handed me a hissing yellow gas lamp.

In his mid 30’s, slender with dark hair and eyes, multi-lingual and friendly, John was the last member of his family guiding visitors.

“My brothers moved to Madrid, my sister to Seville and I live with my mother down in the valley.”

His grandfather, needing bat guano to fertilize tobacco fields, dug around the mountain entrance called the abyss of the bats. He roped in and descended. He discovered human remains and numerous red and black Paleolithic paintings.

In 1911 Colonel Willoughby Verner, a British author and ornithologist entered the cave. He published his discovery describing the cave and paintings in the London based Saturday Review.

Henri Breuil, a French archaeologist, anthropologist, ethnologist and geologist joined him for two months to study and draw the cave paintings.

Breuil interpreted the paintings as hunting magic to increase the abundance of prey.

It’s exhilarating and surreal to be here now.

I held Omar’s hand as we entered a gigantic cavern. We slowed on wet slippery passages.

We shifted from external modern civilization into ancient internal worlds. It was a massive dark mysterious space.

The labyrinth of caves extended deep inside the mountain. The path followed slippery rough stone stairs and muddy rocky floors. One huge chamber led to another.

Forests of calcium stalactites and stalagmites loomed in light. John paused near columns of living art formed by dripping water. Natural art creates art.

“Here, listen to this,” he said, cupping his hands and tapping on a carbonated lime spike, 2-3 feet in circumference, rising from the floor into darkness.

Heavy thudding echoes reverberated. My hands played 30,000-year-old intonations. Be the drum. The cave was a magnificent chamber of natural sound echoing through deep dark space.

Lanterns played yellow light/shadows everywhere. Each step returned us to a primal condition.

There is no I, self or ego.

I am a primitive essence.

I have no identity. No past. No future.

I am pure consciousness.

Every cell is alive and firing.

My body vibrates.

I am complete and empty where light and dark meet.

Singularity. Pure sensation.

I am stone and water.

Three humans in flickering light are small.

I burn in an ancient space where knowing and unknowing meet. Wisdom meets wisdom.

Awareness is all.

I am a wild still present.

We explored deeper chambers. John pointed to a rough beige wall. Our golden lights illuminated horses, deer and a fish inside a seal.

Rough, broken black comb-like marks slashed stonewalls. There were fish traps and bison. An archer with a bow and arrow stood silent. The hunter. Prey.

They were stone stories by hunter-gatherers, clans, tribes and families before chiefdoms and city-states, empires and countries.

Stories said I was here. I am.

“They sealed some images using animal fat. If you look close you can see their fingerprints on the pictures,” said John.

Human whorls edged where a finger pressed fat on stone. Magic images danced in the light. I was in a reality/dream of beauty and mystery beyond space and time.

The power and magic is art here now.

Grounded.

Immediate.

Direct experience.

I focused on minute black lines. The outline of a horse had thick black lines on her belly. She looked pregnant. Paired red slashes, perhaps signifying blood, marked her flanks.

Deeper in caves were sixteen more black comb-like drawings. 

“They may represent the passage of time or a number,” said John. Heavy vertical black lines had smaller descending lines slanting and curving at right angles.

In 1911 a group of scientists hypothesized the paintings dated 25,000 years to the Middle Paleolithic. This was confirmed by carbon 14-dating in 1985.

“We know there are human remains below us,” said John, pointing at a dark diversion. “The remains down there are off limits. We don’t know who they are yet. Only trained archeologists from the university are allowed down there with special climbing equipment. They visit twice a year for research.”

 “May I see?” 

“Of course, just be careful near the edge.”

If you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up too much space.

I felt my way over slippery stones and peered down. My lantern was too weak to penetrate infinity. Two rusty supports extended down. It was pitch black, cold, deep.

Dripping water in the caverns formed clear pools. The calcium rich liquid was cold and refreshing. We drank deep.

“It’s delicious,” said Omar.

Ripples from falling drops formed perfect circles on a surface. A single echo pinged infinite space. Plop. Plop. Plop.

Squadrons of bats zoomed over us. They lived in places we would not enter. Invisible wing music diminished toward twilight exits.

I felt the ancient connection with people dancing around fires, playing music, creating art, exploring language, cognitive ability and symbolic thought.

Where shamans retreated deep into caves, entered a trance state and painted images of their vision to draw power from the cave walls.

Where hunter-gatherers lived and died, laughed, cried, painted dream/reality images and told creation stories. Stories of people shared stories in Old Mountain’s story-truth.

We retraced our steps. Below night sky were black rugged mountains and billions of burning stars.

Down in a narrow valley lights glowed in windows.

I was now new and raw with pure senses.

From the cave womb I was reborn with clarity and peaceful mindfulness.

Transformed I danced forever.

 *

“Thinking neither good nor evil, what was your original nature before your parents were born?” - Zen master

ART - Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A Memoir

Monday
Jul122021

Omar's Reply

“I’m not surprised they passed on it,” said Omar. “Anticipating their response I just finished a retort. Would you care to give it a read?”

“Sure.”

Dear Literary Agent, (insert name here)

Many thanks for your letter in response to my submission. As a matter of fact I have 60,000 specific succinct precise concise words floating around my small cabin here in a Zen bamboo forest. I will seduce them onto blank 20/lb. bond white sheets. Their text will be an artistic marvel of design.

I will wave my magic word wand over said words to rearrange them in a simple easy to follow linear form aligning nouns, verbs and direct objects with clear syntactical structure and so forth.

I love ironing. I share this passion with Haruki Murakami.

I will iron sheets of words with discipline, passion and persistence.

My egotistical profit driven anal editors will cull all unnecessary adjectives, adverbs and useless verbiage from the manuscript. An expert at practicing, I will write short fast and deadly.

My well-honed Berber knife and laughter’s Labrys axe will kill darlings with panache.

Deleted suspects will be stripped, blindfolded, water boarded and deprived of due process as part of my polishing action under the International Geneva Font Scribe Protection Act as described in The Book of Kells, Illuminated.

Subversives deemed unfit, dispensable, extraneous, and gratuitous for literary service will be executed by Executive Order #Zero123 with no emotional attachment. Next of kin will be notified in Braille. Fatalities will be a footnote in history where the sound of speech has no alphabet.

The epic will have the intellectual density of an essay, lyric cohesion of poetry and a structure resembling a documentary film incorporating cross-referenced evidence.

To write and to draw is the same Greek verb.

When Mr. Butcher and Mr. Barber, my insolvent intrepid illiterate editors finish cutting I’ll get back to you with a revised manuscript. A.S.A.P.

No publisher is going to drink champagne from my skull.

Sincerely yours, Omar the Blind

“I love it Omar. You’re the man with passion and wisdom.”

“Just doing my work. Few have read it. Fewer have understood it. Post it please?”

“With pleasure. See you later.”

“I’ll see you when I see you,” said Omar whirling his kaleidoscopic protean prism pen.

“Excellent. I imagine Rose, Faith and Tran will be joining us,” I said.

“Yes. They’re walking to Benaojan caves.”

“Delightful. Walking makes the road. We can share stories. I heard from Little Wing this morning.”

“Great. How is she?” said Omar.

“Excellent. She’s weaving threads in Grazalema.”

“Lovely. I look forward to seeing her new creation.”

“Let’s hope she didn’t destroy everything and begin again near the beginning,” I said.

“She realizes life’s tapestry contains flaws, missed stitches and rough edges. We’ll see her clear intentions,” said Omar.

“We will. Her weaving contains frayed edges and severed threads. Like our stories.”

“Yes,” said Omar. “Seeing the front gives one a feeling of totality with holistic harmony and perfection. An organic pattern appears from random elements like a lotus growing from mud.”

“See the beauty and cruelty without hope or fear.”

“No memory means no guilt, no guilt means no fear,” said Omar.

“It’s the Middle Way with detachment and discernment.”

“You sleep with the tiger,” said Omar.

“It’s process with passion. We act and let go. Adios amigo.”

“Adios.”

ART - Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A Memoir

Author Page

 

Mandalay, Burma

Saturday
Mar062021

Golden Garbage

Gold draped Cadiz women.

Inanimate visual remnants of Reason, Enlightenment, Illumination and Prosperity revealed gifts from the Magus.

Alchemists transformed base metals into heavy symbolic chains weighing wrists and necks of Spanish matrons and patrons.

The Fleischer - a butcher - wore no gold.

Paring fat his sharpened edge severed layers of gristle. A steel mesh glove protected his left hand. He slammed a sharp hatchet blade through tendons, muscles, bone and meat. Blood littered his table. 

Customers gathered to buy their favorite cut. Slabs of acorn fed pigs dangled in windows with funnel tags attached to cloven hoofs collecting fat. Wild boar and stag heads rested above color photos of famous Ronda bullfighters partying with Orson Wells and Ernest Hemingway. Red was the cape’s color. Bull’s blood rivers flowed down muscular necks.

 

Mandalay, Burma

People in deep state covert operations discussed ambiguities in conspiratorial coded languages.

Airliners slammed into towers of Babel on televised reruns between detergent, automobile and sherry commercials.

I murdered words in their sleep after they had their say. 

Word garbage was hauled down to green plastic curbside trash containers. Midnight men in blue garbage uniforms with yellow safety stripes rolled through Cadiz. Teams of men hosing down narrow cobblestone streets sang, “Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations. Everything must go. Going out of business sale.”

Water flooded grateful city grates. Spanish civilization collapsed without street cleaners and women with mops.

Humanity’s narrative explored adventures, quests, dreams, relationships, and historical facts mixed with courage, curiosity, joy and serenity.

Yellow streetlights illuminated a man walking his arthritic Labrador. The well-dressed bald gentleman with Romani DNA wearing polished black wing-tip shoes carried a newspaper and paperback entitled, A Century is Nothing by Omar.

He collected his dog’s shit from cobblestone using the financial section. He downloaded it into a metal trash basket nailed to a wall. Five minutes later a neurotic woman cleaning everything after midnight because she hated chaos and disordered dust in her ground floor flat wailed, “What in the hell is that smell?”

“History baby, history,” he said, walking toward the sea. “The more I see the less I know.”

One if by land, and two if by sea

Easy Rider.

Oh say can you see? Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may I wish I might dream the impossible dream and throw the first pitch for a called strike on the inside corner.

“We’re headed to extra innings and the bullpens are empty,” cautioned a radio announcer on armed forces shortwave, “and now this,” cutting to a commercial from a mechanic offering an interest free no down payment deal on the finest internal combustion machine money could buy.

“Drive it away today.”

Every vehicle on the road is used.

This was followed by an ad for cheap fuel and a political proposal to open Alaskan wilderness for drilling. Unemployed dentists signed up. Their mantra was, “The more you drill the more you bill.”

Two unemployed poets holding hands walked down a cobblestone street discussing Spanish deficit economics, European financial bailouts, 40% unemployment numbers and financial insolvency. Andalucía was the poorest province in Spain.

Sexually repressed women pacing poverty’s alienation prowled streets seeking future lovers, husbands and fathers for contraceptive children. Lonely-heart club ads assaulted missing persons with conjecture, possibilities and probabilities. Hope floated in a breeze.

Cadiz scooter boys felt genital heat as their girlfriend’s arms held them tighter than tomorrow. After escaping narrow traditional parental attitudes they zoomed past pedestrians.

An old couple supporting their fragile bipedal existence took immediate steps into a long now. Small significant gestures of love and affection rained flowers.

I wrote under a desk lamp with jazz music providing rhythm, harmony and improvisation.

Dreaming of a new environment I studied a provincial map tacked on the wall.

Spanish church bells buried in the Plaza de Dreams, a fictitious conglomeration of unpleasant historical true facts in this tale tolled as mystics hearing hollow Zen bells toiled.

Mary sells seashells by the seashore before crossing to the other side of paradise after paying the troll a toll. 

ART

Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A Memoir

Mandalay, Burma

 

Sunday
May172020

Butterfly Shadow

Outside fog shrouded morning 4 a.m.

Sitting meditation Zen heart-mind

Engage senses

Talented person hits the targets others miss

Genius hits the target others cannot see

How you learn. How you feel.

How you grow

Wisdom of heart-mind

I used to be someone else. I traded him in. - Other


Writing in Mandalay, Burma

+
Storyteller fragments imagination

Shadow of butterfly

Blue sky enjoys clear pronunciation

Intonation rising falling sounds

Language chunks

Spill shred synchronicity symbols

Learn. Play. Share.

Chess bishops develop long line of attack

Knights are unpredictable

Life is a chess game of experiences we get to play

River song butterflies

Moored on bank

Wake flow electric H2oh

Feeling mid-day sun

Gestures use us

Cloud song white air

Floating world

Up a lazy Mekong river

Turn the boat around

Huck said to Jim

Mark my words

If I had more time I’d make it shorter - Twain

Patterns

Elemental dance

Particles

Wheel of Time

Rainbow Earthman

Poet

Shaman

Grow Your Soul

Wednesday
Apr222020

Uncertainty Principle

The world gave me a strong sense of querencia, a Spanish term for homeland, “a place - like a bull facing death in the ring -  where you feel comfortable dying.”  - Lorca

"I am a character in my own story," said Omar, "a hakaawati, a professional Persian storyteller inside the shadow of my imagination. I manifest an oral way of transmitting khurata, fanciful stories, inside the ocean of stories."

"Wonderful, said Jamie. "I like the part about the sacred wisdom circle. It’s a magic story. Reminds me of a woman talking about her Ghost Dance. In her wishes, lies, dreams, memories and reflections she is a Wovoka, a Paiute weather doctor with power over rain and earthquakes. Her Ghost Dance magic is destined to return souls of those who have died. Is it my turn?"

"Sure Jamie, just keep it shorter than life because a reader doesn’t want to struggle if the narration is hard to follow."

"Yeah, said the kid. "This twisted tale may have too much Zen for some readers to wrap their head around. You become the thing you fight the most. Let’s see all the beauty and ugliness without hope or fear."

"Ain’t that the truth. What is the sound of one hand laughing?"

Someone in the tribe asked Point to tell them about the beginning of his wandering ways. Omar wrote it down and translated it into new languages for historians.

“Fly, fly. After a steady heavy rain a pregnant peasant woman regretting the instant she spread her legs out of loneliness and desperation to have a child and anchor a man to her with birth weight, propped her mop made of strands, discarded rainbows, as her solemn dispassionate morose husband shucked peas and removed garlic shells from their protective casing.

"After the sky finished crying and washing student street where parades of disenfranchised spoiled adolescent Chinese youth sought shelter from the storm and well after open windows released cello notes from a child sitting upright tuning her eyes to black notes on white pages with a determination to master the instrument as another music student hammered piano keys behind locked doors, flies gathered around brown sticky eggplant paste slowly dripping off a cracked plate with feelers extending their appetite toward a thin white butterfly leaving a green leaf."

“Food,” said the fly, “I love leftovers. Delicious. I survive on garbage.”

A speeding silver water particle whistled past mirrors at 186,000 miles per second. It collided with correlation. Speed and spin are mutually exclusive. The uncertainty principle. If you know the velocity you don’t know the position.

“It meets my needs. It’s not easy to find work in this country.”

“Hey, tell me about it. Have mirror will travel. Maybe you could write something like Mirrors For Dummies - could be a market niche, you know, for stressed out A-type personalities. The kind with too much dinero and way too much time. Reminds me,” the fly continued, “my ancestor said, ‘We’re not here for a long time but we’ve been here long enough.’ Know what I mean?”

"Years ago, a counselor in a room of Oregon veterans said,  ‘After a war everything is easy.’"

 A Century is Nothing

Write on your hand in Burma.