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Entries in zen (79)

Saturday
Jun182022

Pessoa

Pessoa: impersonal medium

a conduit

write on impulse

intuition

a stranger to himself

externalized what he thought, felt & dreamed

Book of Disquiet

We are in exile with stealth and cunning.

Question? How much does silence cost? Depends.

            Deep silence = deep bliss.

            In my silence only my voice is missing, said Fernando Pessoa in The Book of Disquiet.

            Money buys silent bribes.

            Bamboo Nomad said, Open your head, heart and mouth if you want to practice speaking tongues with me, I am a facilitator.

            I am a storyteller, said Zeynep from Bursa, Turkey. We communicate telepathically.

A-dolts don’t get it.

            Q: How many types of people are there in the world? Three: people who make things happen, people who watch people make things happen and people who don’t know what the fuck is going on.

            Funny sad true unpleasant facts. Like melting icicles, exploding galaxies, a meaningless universe and orgasms. Reality is the funniest thing happening. It’s difficult to take any of this seriously. People should play more.

            How did I grow?

            The bigger the fear the bigger the defense. Can you hear yourself think? Yes, it’s important to keep a running monkey mind dialogue going to express emotions, ideas and awareness of illusionary sense details, distractions and existence. You are critical mass expressing art.

            Socrates asked the big question: HOW TO LIVE?

            Establish character nuance with emotional honesty and a sense of the fantastic. It’s essential to establish a conte\x/t. Give me an example of compression.

            They came, burned, raped, pillaged, trussed up their loot and gone. Excellent. I know everything and can say nothing. I know nothing and can say everything.

            Tell me about hanging out. Travel writing uses novel techniques. It explores a place, discovers and/or invents characters, selects and tailors experiences and arranges the action to give the narrative shape and motivation.

            Time is history.

            Space is geography.

We are bushido warriors with Zen clarity insight and wisdom.

The majority of adults are, in my little clear, concise, precise deadly specific opinion based on empirical experience tyrants, rigid, autocratic, blind in one eye, easily distracted, idiots, depressed, angry, insecure, resentful, neurotic, suffering from illusions, greedy for money and power and CONTROL and so on.

I love their personality and character faults.

They take drugs or escape into phone madness to erase pain and memory. They struggle to forget. They take Soma to BE on a perpetual holiday from mind numbing tedious monotonous life. They become soft and pliable sheep…easily manipulated by viral media machine messages. Burroughs called it The Soft Machine.

Book of Amnesia, V1

Sunday
May152022

Ukiyo-e

Photography allows us to look into the mirror for clues

suggestions / warnings / about who, what and how we are

memorable / elastic / unwavering

Sunday
Apr032022

Practice

Make it new day by day, make it new, said Leo sitting under a Camellia tree in a green garden. It blossoms 10,000 pink flowers every spring  ... light shadows bamboo leaves  ... practice calligraphy  ... Be the brush be the paper be the ink  ... Zen.

Practice allows you to wake up.

 

Mandalay

*

After the orphanage Tran discovered a dingy roadside cafe along the Perfume River in Hue. He sat at a wooden table under a torn blue plastic awning protected from searing mid-day sun. He ate animal tongue with eel extract and monkey brains while savoring thick noodles mixed with spicy red peppers, spinach and broccoli. Green tea and snake blood.

He needs the antioxidants.

He hears melodious NOM dialects filled with 25,000 characters as men pole boats loaded with bananas and onions toward floating markets on a calm velvet surface. A girl in white silk rolls dough into noodles. She drops them in boiling water fired by wood in a red brick stove. Another girl chops vegetables and fish. They stare at him laughing and talking.

Keep staring, I might do a trick, said Tran.

Trucks, tractors and herds of water buffalo crowd the dirt road. Illiterate boys bank an eight ball in dust. An angry, frustrated, underpaid, undersexed overworked female Vietnamese teacher moonlighting as a Communist party stooge admonishes her pool shark students for breaking the cue ball off green bank walls.

 

Play the angles you idiots, she shouts, elevating her Marxist CONTROL stick, stabbing them, prodding them, driving them forward, accelerating them through educational fields filled with landmines.

She pounds her stick on a bamboo podium to get their attention. She releases her repressed anger and frustration, Your fate is to put up with me, she screams. Students cower behind rote memorization grammar rules in fear.

Famine survives in green paddies below heaven’s gateless gate as emaciated farmers work steaming white oxen past orphans selling bananas, trinkets and skin to lost scared alienated caffeinated satiated rich obese white tourists.   

Lovers sleep on teak furniture abandoned by Rohingya fleeing a genocide promoted by the Burmese Army. They stream across streams into Bangladesh where they languish forever.

Across from the restaurant behind a spaceship made of mud is an iridescent dirt playing field and elementary school. Curious disheveled smiling children stare as a stranger with one good leg squats over a holy toilet.

Tran shits fertilizer 7.5 miles into the center of the Earth creating earthquakes in Christchurch and Japan. Radioactive debris floods the Mississippi Delta singing the blues.

Book of Amnesia, V1

Monday
Dec202021

direct

ever changing impermanent reality truth

path of awakening is simple & direct

but steep and difficult

as we journey from ego to self

Monday
Aug232021

Transformation

Late one afternoon I helped Omar climb hundreds of stone steps to reach the entrance of Cueva De La Pileta (Cave of the Pool) south of Benaojan near Rhonda. We bowed through a small entrance arch to enter a small cave.

John, the grandson of Jose Bullon who discovered Pileta in 1905 after seeing bats flying from the mountain handed me a hissing yellow gas lamp.

In his mid 30’s, slender with dark hair and eyes, multi-lingual and friendly, John was the last member of his family guiding visitors.

“My brothers moved to Madrid, my sister to Seville and I live with my mother down in the valley.”

His grandfather, needing bat guano to fertilize tobacco fields, dug around the mountain entrance called the abyss of the bats. He roped in and descended. He discovered human remains and numerous red and black Paleolithic paintings.

In 1911 Colonel Willoughby Verner, a British author and ornithologist entered the cave. He published his discovery describing the cave and paintings in the London based Saturday Review.

Henri Breuil, a French archaeologist, anthropologist, ethnologist and geologist joined him for two months to study and draw the cave paintings.

Breuil interpreted the paintings as hunting magic to increase the abundance of prey.

It’s exhilarating and surreal to be here now.

I held Omar’s hand as we entered a gigantic cavern. We slowed on wet slippery passages.

We shifted from external modern civilization into ancient internal worlds. It was a massive dark mysterious space.

The labyrinth of caves extended deep inside the mountain. The path followed slippery rough stone stairs and muddy rocky floors. One huge chamber led to another.

Forests of calcium stalactites and stalagmites loomed in light. John paused near columns of living art formed by dripping water. Natural art creates art.

“Here, listen to this,” he said, cupping his hands and tapping on a carbonated lime spike, 2-3 feet in circumference, rising from the floor into darkness.

Heavy thudding echoes reverberated. My hands played 30,000-year-old intonations. Be the drum. The cave was a magnificent chamber of natural sound echoing through deep dark space.

Lanterns played yellow light/shadows everywhere. Each step returned us to a primal condition.

There is no I, self or ego.

I am a primitive essence.

I have no identity. No past. No future.

I am pure consciousness.

Every cell is alive and firing.

My body vibrates.

I am complete and empty where light and dark meet.

Singularity. Pure sensation.

I am stone and water.

Three humans in flickering light are small.

I burn in an ancient space where knowing and unknowing meet. Wisdom meets wisdom.

Awareness is all.

I am a wild still present.

We explored deeper chambers. John pointed to a rough beige wall. Our golden lights illuminated horses, deer and a fish inside a seal.

Rough, broken black comb-like marks slashed stonewalls. There were fish traps and bison. An archer with a bow and arrow stood silent. The hunter. Prey.

They were stone stories by hunter-gatherers, clans, tribes and families before chiefdoms and city-states, empires and countries.

Stories said I was here. I am.

“They sealed some images using animal fat. If you look close you can see their fingerprints on the pictures,” said John.

Human whorls edged where a finger pressed fat on stone. Magic images danced in the light. I was in a reality/dream of beauty and mystery beyond space and time.

The power and magic is art here now.

Grounded.

Immediate.

Direct experience.

I focused on minute black lines. The outline of a horse had thick black lines on her belly. She looked pregnant. Paired red slashes, perhaps signifying blood, marked her flanks.

Deeper in caves were sixteen more black comb-like drawings. 

“They may represent the passage of time or a number,” said John. Heavy vertical black lines had smaller descending lines slanting and curving at right angles.

In 1911 a group of scientists hypothesized the paintings dated 25,000 years to the Middle Paleolithic. This was confirmed by carbon 14-dating in 1985.

“We know there are human remains below us,” said John, pointing at a dark diversion. “The remains down there are off limits. We don’t know who they are yet. Only trained archeologists from the university are allowed down there with special climbing equipment. They visit twice a year for research.”

 “May I see?” 

“Of course, just be careful near the edge.”

If you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up too much space.

I felt my way over slippery stones and peered down. My lantern was too weak to penetrate infinity. Two rusty supports extended down. It was pitch black, cold, deep.

Dripping water in the caverns formed clear pools. The calcium rich liquid was cold and refreshing. We drank deep.

“It’s delicious,” said Omar.

Ripples from falling drops formed perfect circles on a surface. A single echo pinged infinite space. Plop. Plop. Plop.

Squadrons of bats zoomed over us. They lived in places we would not enter. Invisible wing music diminished toward twilight exits.

I felt the ancient connection with people dancing around fires, playing music, creating art, exploring language, cognitive ability and symbolic thought.

Where shamans retreated deep into caves, entered a trance state and painted images of their vision to draw power from the cave walls.

Where hunter-gatherers lived and died, laughed, cried, painted dream/reality images and told creation stories. Stories of people shared stories in Old Mountain’s story-truth.

We retraced our steps. Below night sky were black rugged mountains and billions of burning stars.

Down in a narrow valley lights glowed in windows.

I was now new and raw with pure senses.

From the cave womb I was reborn with clarity and peaceful mindfulness.

Transformed I danced forever.

 *

“Thinking neither good nor evil, what was your original nature before your parents were born?” - Zen master

ART - Adventure, Risk, Transformation - A Memoir