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Entries in Laos (183)

Sunday
Feb142016

Love is

Love is a blind whore
With a mental disease
And no sense of humor.

+

Slow.

Lesson? Sustain the art.

Siem Reap

1)    motorman sings his sad tale of "no money"

2)    the endless hard luck story

3)    rows of empty ugly hotel monstrosities line the Highway of Death

4)    being Sunday Someday, SR is more destitute than a hungry girl waiting to go to bed with a hungry man

5)    people salvage trash in the rain

6)    air is thick with moisturizer and masks

7)    Carl died. He left a young Cambodian wife and two boys, 12 & 6. Heart attack.

8)    I feel this deep loss. Profound sadness.

Needs. Drama. Story. Conflict.

Give it an edge.

Theme : loss, passion, alienation, boredom, loneliness.

One week ago he sat in a Lao garden. It rained.

Everything smelled deep, pure, beautiful.

Five months in Vientiane helping grades 6/7 be more human.

Sitting in the garden writing - polishing manuscripts about Turkey, China, Indonesia, affectionately called Amnesia.

For the last three months while playing with kinder garden kids from 8-3 he'd been involved with Ling who came from the war ravaged interior and worked the massage biz.

During the course of their pre-meditated hot sexual relationship interspersed with gestures and broken Lao-English guttural intentions, he bought her a phrase book and dictionary and English primers, and a hand-made paper notebook. He gave her colored pens and watercolor paints. She had the skill and artistic eye.

At night he read as she created in precise detail large Lao images of dancers, village life, coiled serpents, and vivid representational fantasy/reality cultural art.

He was astonished and supportive.

She was happy. They were in temporary attraction, lust, desire, passion. They shared lives. She relished the generous and serene outpouring of her emotion and creativity.

He told her he'd leave the school, town, country and her after a month.

They cried. They hugged. She painted a final picture of the holding hands, walking up the street lined with flowering lilac trees. Another had them hugging, shedding tears.

He suggested she keep her art alive. She said she would. He suggested she make a portfolio of her work and show it to galleries.

He flew away.

A vanishing point on life's canvas.

Ling's Art 

Wednesday
Feb102016

Trust

Hugs from Bon, all of 5, after his teacher said, T is leaving.
A small powerful hug from a dark haired smiling shy Lao boy.
Culmination.
A month of fun.
Dancing down 30 days playing, alphabets, songs, sharing, swimming, evolving, discovering inherent childhood joy.
Reading stories, drawing, hugs. Trust.

Lilacs purple green line the street dress
Silent theatrical gestures
Sent her home
Absorbing her tears, her art becomes alive
Stories, songbirds water the garden
Mindfulness in the moment
Ling sleeps off her sadness.

Letting go with emotional heart-mind awareness.
Blind eyes on a dark path at night.

 

Monday
Feb082016

Ling's Vision

Heart-mind.

Ling's art flourishes.

Draw the future.

Live broadly.

Write boldly.

Today is the day of my dreams. Kindergarten kids all sleepy eyed ramble into alphabets, songs, dances, friends, games, silver slides, swings propelling people into sky.

 

Freedom zooms upward.

He leaves Laos at New Year. Where will you go?

I'm not sure, perhaps Turkey (happens in September) who knows, back to Siem Reap.

I have writing, images, wandering and helping others help their self and Elves.

Facilitate.

 

Friday
Jan152016

immediate direct

Curious beginnings determine her artistic sense of form, coloring stories of her village.

Cutting. Planting. Harvesting.

Complete slow rhythm of life. Her skill radiates every new expression. Her heart sings.

Her simple, immediate direct feeling experience.

Art enables her this Beauty.

She describes what she draws.

Her words fly through forests with resplendent peacocks, birds of paradise.

A blind conversation developed a through line.

Turn a blind eye.

Blind heard muted laughter before intuition gestured pink floating word worlds.

Laughter danced with exhaled attachment.

Wednesday
Jan132016

mask eats face

He broke down.

He returned to the bamboo shock shacks in deep rutted fields. Under cover. She wasn't there. Massage love called a sprite of 25 wearing flower ring on her finger. Silver with seven petals. Open. Consternation in his weak heart. He felt the sense of loss. Accept loss forever.

This symbol, how it transformed men's eyes into want.

This silent metallic flower only now, under a weak light as mama smiled through her destined crooked teeth, saying, Money.

Ling's 25-year young friend is beautiful, they all are, in an immature, petulant way.

Lack of confidence met betrayal.

Betrayal knew the stranger desired L.

The sensitivity of seeing the future with Awareness - Attention – Non-attachment.

Transference - emotions - an instinctual way of living objectively.

POWER

Masks - good or (d)evil?

           - money or sex

           - relationships

           - life and death

           - beauty and truth

The mask eats the face. 

Maybe, she said, being a Player. Lying in her Ling heart. No intention. Intention is karma.

She got what she needed. Money. Traded her passion for cash. You can't put passion in the bank. You can't eat passion, it eats you. Grasping is suffering.

Solvent with clear heart. Heart had nothing to do with passion. Passion sang its joy describing her minor character.

The 3-act play ran five weeks in Luang Prabang.

On opening night her love opened like a flower. It rained flowers over a lonely man.

Mutual needs were satisfied.

Intuition augured well, laughing.

It's difficult to take any of this seriously.

Posture. Breath.

Plant heliotropes. Night aroma in gardens.