brainwashed

One day it happened that a senior female Chinese university student majoring in English found the courage to say, I don't speak-talk English. My English is poor.

I have no self-esteem. I am too shy.

I am afraid of losing face if I make mistakes in front of a foreigner.

My parents, peers and teachers in socialistic group-think (Oh, George Orwell, where art thou?) reality taught me, or perhaps a better word is brainwashed me into believing, heart and soul that if my English isn't perfect I shouldn't try, especially in front of foreigners.

I’ve learned the less I do, the fewer mistakes I make and the less criticism I face.

I feel safer. I am a robot.

Autonomy and independent critical free thinking are anathema in my comfortable world.

On the other hand, give me a cell phone and I can set world records for text dial-a-log.

Especially when I am sad, lonely and bored.

I know people in the West use the Internet to seek information. Here it’s about entertainment.

I love chat rooms and the TV idiot box where I can give away my consciousness.

good at two things

You absolve in the rhythm when you have adequate life experience.

Silence and hunger are identical naked twins.

Fear and Ignorance produced Expectation & Greed.

I am good at two things:

Eating and sleeping.

Fighting and fucking.

Laughing and crying.

Reading and writing? That's for idiots.

The less I do the fewer mistakes I make, said Insecurity.

The fewer mistakes I make the less I am criticized, said Fear.

We know the essence of survival. Keep your fucking mouth shut.

kids speak truth

After a year and a half in a Wild West town,

Pounding Stick dragged his sorry angry alcoholic brilliant ass to Hanoi. 

Down a dusty road. Out of a dusty little town.

Past the Plain of Scars.

Past men and women de-mining, defining soil.

Harvesting ordinance.

To be recycled as garden planters, fences, restaurant fixtures, bracelets,

Spoons and impossible fragments explaining how the world works.

Going to get a life teaching spoiled rich kids, said Pounding Stick. $30 an hour.

He needed travel money for South America. 

A long way from England.

A long way from anywhere but here turning Earth.

Life is good.

Short, said a H'mong student.

It was the rainy season.

Tears ran down the street.

Yes, said another. He evaporated his limited patience here.

Yes, he did, said another kid. He absolved the dilemma of his loss. 

He projected his shadow, fear, and ignorance on us, said one.

It'd be nice if we had a more gentle teacher.

Accept loss forever, said a quiet kid. Happiness is small.

A small mansion.

A small fortune.

A small ____.

Smaller and smaller. Poof.

writing, sex and censorship #301

A Chinese computer science professor received a 3.5 year sentence for "crowd licentiousness."  This is vague government wordage. It covers crowds. It covers licenses. It means a crowd gets together and applies for a license. In this case with broad overtones they applied for a license to swap identities.

He led informal swinger clubs for partner swapping. He pleaded innocent. "I had nothing to do with the North Korean submarine attack in an apartment with eighteen people. I was only the middleman. I was formatting my hard drive and downloading data."

He was charged under Criminal Law 301. 

A Chinese academic said...“I feel that the thought process of the Chinese authorities is always to try to manage and control the population, the people. Beyond prosecuting criminal activities, they feel they have to control or manage people to their standards.” read more...

Turkey also has an infamous Article 301 law. This law makes it illegal to insult Turkey, Turkish ethnicity or Turkish government institutions.

Turkey's imprisoned 49 journalists, Iran 45 and China 32 as of December 2012.

Writers Orhan Pamuk, Noam Chomsky, Elif Safak, among others have been charged under this article. All the cases were either dropped or acquitted.

A spoiled young girl in Ankara was recently arrested and charged under Article 301 for insulting her mother's cooking.

"I hate Turkish food. Too many tomatoes. I don't want black olives. I don't want fresh salad. I don't want fresh seafood from the Marmara Sea. I want Italian pizza with extra cheese please squeeze." 

Her mother said, "Eat what I give you. Hurry up. I'm late for my wife swapping seminal seminary with binary logic."

It was thrown out for lack of evidence.

Number 301 is very popular. The number of words mating and swapping with other words is increasing. Words remove an article of clothing like a, an, the.

Burma
 

China

China

Turkey

chimayo

its been years since 
I’ve thought of you

it occured now 
when I
smoothed out Two Gray Hills 
wool carpet

lured into red sunsets 
splitting pure white
dazzling yellow light 
from the center

remembering cold january mornings
weaving our way past snow lined adobe

gathering blessed sand, red chillis
seeing Navajo weave their magic

we purchased magic
rolled it into our passion
ate our dreams
carried it on our journey 

toward separation
warp, weft fibers glistening beside 
sage induced fires 

curling new mexico stars
pressing desire's surface
smoothing out Chimayo 

breathing shuttles click clack 

memory scissors escape
toward edges of you
screaming on fifth floor
suicide watch time